Fertility is a Blessing

by redblossom on July 23, 2010

Until the value of “women’s work” is given monetary value for what that work is actually worth, there shall be no true equality between men and women. Women are overburdened to tend the hearth, and leave the hearth to earn money.  This causes adrenal fatigue, thyroid problems, fertility problems, and is a stress to small children.  Small children are rushed to daycare, and fed inappropriate foods that take less time to prepare.

What do I mean by women’s work?  I am sure to offend someone!  But in my observations, women’s work includes childbearing and childrearing, laundry, housecleaning, grocery shopping and cooking.  Of course, everybody can do these tasks (except for gestation), but modern people lack the wisdom to value these tasks.  These tasks are meant to be stuffed into the edges of our work-week, or career plans… Performed without consciousness because all that vital energy went into our jobs.

Women have left the homestead to go to university and make their marks in the world.  I know that women of colour have always been working outside their homes in America, and that being ‘released from home’ has no resonance.  But now girls of all races will meet the expectation of having a career.

And the message is:

Creating a family is something a responsible woman

does once her career has momentum,

and she can afford to pay someone else to care

for her child while she tends her career.

Where does that leave us?  Fatigued and anxious that our careers are suffering from the burdens of family, and anxious that our families are suffering from the burdens of the career. Or, without a family at all due to infertility problems!  Sup-optimal fertility in our population is related to the delayed childbearing and endocrine problems influenced by our drive to succeed outside the home.

This dynamic is similar to the way in which the true cost of our commodities is skewed, without factoring in the true cost of fossil fuel consumption to extract the raw materials, assemble and transport those goods.  Both of these issues relate to the feminine, the human mother and the mother earth and our resources.

A patient of mine…I’ll call her Mirabel… went to her OB/GYN when she was 28 years old to come off of her Oral Birth Control Pills (OBCs) a year or so before conceiving her child. Her doctor was astonished that a woman with a successful career would want to start a family so early. At 30 yrs of age, Mirabel began to try to conceive.  It wasn’t until she was 35 that she was able to keep a pregnancy (after surgically removing fibroids that grew under the influence of her OBCs).  At 35 years of age, Mirabel was considered “old” for being pregnant and was cited additional risks to pregnancy and childbirth due to her age!  She marveled at how she went from being too young to too old in such a short span of time!  My take on this common story, is that we do not appropriately value fertility, thus the work of a woman.

I am not saying a woman should be paid for getting pregnant.  Who would pay her?  How much? How many times should she be paid, etc?  What a political nightmare!

All I mean to say, is that in addition to wars, corporate greed, subsidized corn and other evils of our modern culture, an essential problem is that the work men do is rewarded with money, and thankfully today women can be rewarded as well for this type of creativity and productivity.  But the work of childbearing and rearing, hearth tending is a voice-less career path left behind by feminism.  Had I told the generation ahead of me that I wanted to be a mother, as a career, they would have been astounded and incensed! “What a waste of your youth! You can do so much more than that!”

Well, you know what? I now understand what all that energy in my 20s was for!  Because staying up all night with hungry or sick children is hard work, especially when you don’t get to sleep it off the following day.  And Yes, in many ways I wouldn’t be as good a mother as I am now.  Now I know about natural medicine, and immune system development.  I know about wheat-free-dairy-free nutrition, hydrotherapy and homeopathy.  But what I lack today, that I had plenty of in my 20s is enthusiasm, energy and optimistic naïveté.  Those are assets to childrearing!  Today I am so fatigued by tending my business, and feeding people (and a kitty), and cleaning up after them – that it is effort for me to play.  I am too aware of the long to-do list.  OR, it goes on the long to-do list and then is neutralized by being on a list…

Ok, now this sounds like I am complaining too much. I am very fortunate to have a job worthy of leaving my child with others. Now to re-focus:

Don Elijio, my teacher’s teacher, says that women today have too much burden, working like men and women at the same time.  That is why he includes Skunk Root in the Female Tonic…. to nurture and support the feminine spirit, today pulled in too many directions.

And my message to you dear woman: Vision your family and your hearth. Place priority on your fertility, if you want children.  If you are in your twenties, start at least by peak fertility, age 27.  Seek mates who also value family, and take the time to envision the qualities that make a good mate for childrearing. Call that in!  Motherhood is a real job, worthy of conscious intention.  Make your outside-job work for your real job of mothering your children!  Get off the hormonal contraception and use Fertility Awareness Method!  Protect your cervix, uterus and fallopian tubes from diseases by insisting on condom use until you are ready to commit to your mate.  Don’t wait for perfection, it almost never happens…  And when it does, it is Grace from god(dess).   But chances are, it is perfect already… in a tangly English Garden sort of way.

Being a mother is a blessing, fertility is a blessing.  Let’s take a look at the blessing of fertility and optimize our chances of receiving this blessing.

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